Editor’s note: This is a true story from right here in the New River Valley, though the author has chosen, wisely we think, to remain anonymous.

We’ve been divorced almost two years. Yet, he still attempts to control me. The more he realizes he’s lost that control, however, the more desperate he becomes in his measures to regain it. He uses our small child to get to me, without regard to the psychological damage caused. He’ll unleash his vitriolic fury on me and then beat a hasty retreat, leaving me to pick up the pieces of our emotionally distraught child. With a history of such verbal and emotional abuse, peppered with some physical exchanges, it’s not surprising that my ex-husband exploded with anger when he learned that I was dating someone. Now, he has resorted to stalking me.

According to the Stalking Resource Center, this is not unusual, with one in 12 women being stalked in their lifetime. Typically, intimate partners are the perpetrators. Though I have no-trespassing and no harassing phone call orders issued on him, along with a previous restraining order due to the physical violence, he persists. He is unpredictable, brash, and irrational, all common characteristics of stalkers according to the research.  Recently he unexpectedly appeared in a parking lot, having followed us to our destination yet avoiding a no-trespassing violation.

Such tactics wear me down psychologically and emotionally for I never know where he’ll be, what he’ll do, or when he’ll do it. This is part of the stalker’s goal, after all. Perhaps the most disconcerting issue of stalking, though, is the potential violence against the victim. The Stalking Resource Center notes that 76 percent of women killed by their intimate partners were stalked by these partners before they were murdered. Therefore, stalking must be taken seriously. Stalkers are dangerous. They are criminals. Stalking is punishable by law. This is why I’ve taped all my ex-husband’s phone calls, maintained detailed records of his actions, and shared with friends and family all his doings.

January is National Stalking Awareness Month. It is a time to focus attention on a serious issue. It is a time to alert public officials, law enforcement, and lay people to the intensity of this violation. As the Stalking Resource Center advocates, entire communities must come together to protect stalking victims. Please do your part to aid in these efforts.

For more information on stalking, visit the National Center for Victims of Crime Web site at www.ncvc.org/src. If you’re a victim of stalking or know someone who is, call 1-800-CALL-FYI for assistance.