(Editor’s Note: Radford University Professor Emeritus of Religious Studies Russell Gregory has once again delved into his satirical persona of Professor F. Hill Thomas to offer this guest editorial. For Part I, click here.)
Quite a few, who want to draft me as the next President of Radford University, suggested that I provide a few more planks of my presidential platform or program. Fair enough.
First, as an educator, I would educate the Board of Visitors in the philosophy and practice of higher education. I don’t mean in any way to demean the board members, but they are generally beacons in their own professions but novices in higher education. What would happen if the board of a bank had no one, or perhaps one member, on their board that had any experience in finance or banking?
The board members might let the president of the bank run the business in a way convenient to him or her, but not in a way that was proper for good business. Or, they might institute crazy or inappropriate practices, e.g., let loan officers be at the windows and the cashiers in plush offices. I would support workshops to inform them of their responsibilities and numerous meetings between board members and faculty members so that the contentious spirit would evaporate in favor of a cooperative effort. These workshops and meetings could take place at Selu, just as workshops for professors and staff could occur there.
Second, I would create an informal board of retired professors to assist in the ongoing vision of the purpose and function of Radford University. All the buy-outs have given RU a short-term financial advantage, but a long-term weakening of the teaching community. When professors, few at a time, come to the end of their teaching career, the transition is smooth. When clumps of professors leave, and certainly voluntarily, the university suffers an institutional lobotomy. To lessen the effect of this rapid loss of institutional memory, this board would continue to provide wise counsel to RU.
Third, I would insure that the primary purpose of the foundation is to provide aid and assistance to students interested in a first-rate higher education.
Next, would be the support of faculty in their teaching and research. In terms of grants received and administered by the foundation, I would support a policy that allowed the professor(s) ready access to the funds with the least taken out by the foundation. Since the university is a community, I would also suggest that assistance be arranged for others who work in support of the campus in ways not directly connected to instruction.
Fourth, I would provide space for a faculty lounge where they could meet and commune in a congenial, private setting. This venue would also serve as a place where graduates, on special occasions and infrequent visits, could search for or arrange to meet professors who proved to be significant mentors to them.
Fifth, and on this point I will end, I would start off the year with a dinner, subsidized mostly if not completely paid for with university funds, that stretched into the night so that before the students arrived there would be a preliminary celebration of the new academic year. A university should be joyously involved in teaching and learning, an experience of lifelong learning for everyone involved with the mission of RU.
Professor F. Hill Thomas, Th.D
Emeritus Professor of Thinkology
Oz University (Home of the Fighting Munchkins!)
5 responses so far ↓
1 NRJMike // Jan 26, 2010 at 9:08 am
Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t we remove all state support of your institution and let you compete for students on merit? Then you can try out all these interesting theories that don’t touch reality anywhere, and see how they work. You wanna be the Prez? Great! Convince the faculty, whose livlihoods now depend on your ability to attract quality faculty, contributions, and students. No problem, right? As a parent of an RU alum, I’d support you. Let RU go private.
2 tired retired // Jan 29, 2010 at 5:42 pm
I would like to ask NRJMike: what is so “out of touch with reality” in helping to instruct board members regaring the uniqueness of higher education, or having retired professors remain involved with the university, or having the foundation support the mission of instruction (rather than Penny’s retirement fund?, or providing for a faculty lounge? What do these issues have to go with “going private”?
3 just tired // Feb 1, 2010 at 12:24 pm
Enough already. how can Penny’s incompetence be defended. Only school to lose enrollent, RU. Declining test scores of students entering, RU. Foundation contributions down, RU again (look closely at any increases and see who is no longer contributing).
Look at Penny’s salary and million dollar lottery priz compared to other presidents and tell me how she is worth more than them.
Attract qulity faculty!!!! she is losing faculty and they are getting the wor out that if you value your reputation accept a position elsewhere.
Hey NRJMike look around, RU alumni are starting to see how much damage she is doing.
And btw combine the faculty that didn’t want Wil with the faculty that wanted him and can’t stand Penny and you will see e vast majority want her gone. And don’t even start with the community, there is no love los there either!
4 Twas Brillig // Feb 1, 2010 at 10:42 pm
Hey NRJMike, since you think so little of RU, here’s an even better idea. Why don’t we remove state support for all educational institutions? Why should taxpayers foot the bill if they dont have kids in school? Imagine how much better the schools would be if kids had to pony up before they could get into kindergarten. It’s a modest proposal, but we could take it further and also stop robbing taxpayers for little things like sanitation and police. Put the whole thing on a business basis. Bet that would be interesting.
5 RUmom // Feb 5, 2010 at 4:16 pm
@just tired- the reason there’s no love lost with the community is because she’s not PART of it. As far as I can tell, she doesn’t live here, doesn’t shop here, doesn’t worship here, doesn’t do much of anything (including work) here. The president of the university really should be a part of the community, and she isn’t. She lives in the Richmond area. I know she has kids, but the rest of us take our families with us when we get great new jobs in a different place, so why not her?
When she commented that “someone should have stopped her in the parking lot and talked to her” about how things were, well, that was just funny. She’d have to BE here for someone to do that. She spends all her time in Richmond.
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