As the horror remake explosion continues in Hollywood, true fans of the genre are left in limbo deciding whether to embrace it or to take offense. It must be realized that these films can carry equal weight to the most sorrowful dramas and the most hilarious comedies. There is a delicate balance that exists as directors line up to remake these classics and one must discern whether their intentions are altruistic or parasitic. How do we begin to separate the respectful pilgrims from the marauding thieves? Well, for one, there is an earnestness in their approach marked with a humble disposition that guards the legacy. However, one must stay vigilant and be ready to act when the louse appears ready to grow fat off the back of horror history. In an effort to preempt these mischievous interlopers, Feature Film Review has compiled the list of remakes below that may not transcend the original, but get it right……spirit and mind. (God have mercy on anyone who ever touches The Exorcist.)

Original: The Hills Have Eyes (1977)
Remake: The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Wes Craven shocked mid-70’s drive-in audiences with his twisted tale of violence concerning a vacationing family stranded in the desert badlands. They soon are reduced to merely frightened playthings of a band of mutant savages that close in on their makeshift camp over the course of a night and a day. One by one, they are tortured and murdered until only a couple of youths exact fitting revenge. Michael Berryman’s bald deviant “Pluto” earned honorable mention in the category of horror antiheros, and the story was retold in an awful mid-‘80s sequel.

A few years ago, Craven (by then an industry staple) was approached with the idea of a remake. He made his first smart move by appointing up-and-coming horror Alexander Aja (High Tension) the director, and co-wrote and produced the film himself. Keeping most of the original story and film intact, the creators emphasized the social commentary barely present in the first entry, and made the antagonists even more monstrous. A similarly lost family is attacked by the hill people – surviving members of an abandoned mining town turned nuclear testing ground. Covered in abnormal growths and hideous cancers, they prey upon the misfortunate city folk at their leisure.

An ultra-violent second look at Craven’s little known cult hit found much in common with the Texas Chainsaw remake that came shortly before. Both are films that can never surpass the original, but are highly engrossing fear-fests that honor the spirit of their predecessors and introduce new generations of horror fans to films they’ve either missed or passed up a chance to see. Unfortunately, the horror remake has become the rule rather than the exception as of late. Box office speaks volumes, and the drive for Hollywood reinvention of monsters and madmen has been replaced by the rush to rob the grave of horrors past.

Recent additions to the crowded genre of scary remakes include Prom Night, House on Haunted Hill, My Bloody Valentine, The Ring, The Amityville Horror, The Fog, as well as the upcoming Friday the 13th, talk of Nightmare on Elm Street and Evil Dead reboots, and countless others as equally frightening. As filmmakers whistle on their way past the graveyard, be assured there is a line not to be crossed (as in the case of Gus Van Sant’s abysmal and completely unnecessary “restaging” of Hitchcock’s Psycho!).

Adam Neal and Walter Simpkins from Feature Film Review know a good film when they see one. Check out FeatureFilmReview.com for other great reviews.