When asked to be a regular contributor to the New River Voice on the subject of spirituality, it forced me into thinking about spirituality in a new way. I wish spirituality was like my GPS: You put a destination in and as long as you make right turns and the left turns, you arrive where you want to go. Perhaps for some it is that way—a simple road map—but my guess is that most of us struggle with what spirituality is for us and how we follow it.

As summer comes to an end, it seems appropriate to quote the summer theologian Jimmy Buffet: “Life is a journey that’s measured not in miles or years but in experiences and the route your life takes you is built not of roads but of songs.”

I would replace the word song with story; perhaps they are the same. Spirituality is about our individual stories and how they are connected to a larger story of humanity and beyond. Buffet goes on to say if he had to name a church that he would belong to, it would be called “The Déjà vu Congregation of Ex-Catholic, Geo-natural, Afro-Oceanic, and Aboriginal Gypsies.”

I wonder how many of us define our spirituality in ways of something we used to be. Perhaps the first step of spirituality, before we sing the song, before we can write the story, is to make peace with where we are coming from. The following is something I’ve been trying to write for a long time, and have been living for a lifetime.

I didn’t grow up in an healthy spiritual family, better known as a “denomination.” No, I grew up in another type of theological family some would call dysfunctional, where Mom and Dad didn’t get along. They fought on issues we didn’t even understand—things such as infallibility and inerrancy.

We heard they used to get along. It seems as though Dad used to work all the time, he was busy building churches and let mom mind us kids. But for some reason, he got worried about us and got involved with what we were doing and he was not happy. In fact, he was really mad. He told Mom he was going put her in her place, and if she didn’t like it she could just leave.

Well, she tried to get Dad back to the way it was but she couldn’t. She had an affair with a guy named Alliance. We thought he was going to take us away from all of those troubles but the affair was short lived; he couldn’t seem to support us. Then she had a long-term relationship with some guy named Cooperative, but by that time it was too late and he was too much like Dad.

So we left. Some of us went for security, so we moved in with the Methodist family, others wanted something very different so they moved up North with the United Family. It took me a long time to leave. I wandered around some and thought family didn’t matter anyway. I tried to find other families that were not theological. Corporate and Civic were the families I lived with for a while, but they were not what I needed. I needed something spiritual, what I didn’t realize is I had to say goodbye to old family before, I could begin a new journey and follow wherever my spiritual GPS would take me.

Jonathan Webster, is a minister who lives in Pulaski County and is board certified chaplain.