A panegyric, first of all, is a formal praise in writing or speech. Like a eulogy, it’s a commendatory oration. And in that regard, Gov. Sarah Palin’s speech last night was perfect. She heaped praise upon her running mate, Sen. John McCain, over and over, again referring to the maverick moniker and recalling his experiences as a P.O.W. and war hero. She talked about how McCain is always the same man, indicating that he would never be a (Dare we say it?) flip-flopper. Thank God, McCain stays true, is full of resolve, and never changes his mind.

She lauded herself repeatedly, offering a litany of her accomplishments, whether or not they were accurate. All politicians stretch the truth. Some outright lie, even when what they are saying has already been established as untrue. Palin again touted her stand against the infamous “bridge to nowhere,” even though it has been well-documented that she supported it. While most of the press fawned all over Palin and her speech, you can find documentation on Palin’s deceitful statements here and there.

Palin, at one point in her speech offered up a joke, which I actually thought was quaintly humorous. She asked what the difference was between a hockey mom and a pit bull, then, with a proper pause and a point toward her own meticulously made-up face, said “lipstick.” Oh how the convention floor roared.

In fact, between heaping praise upon herself and McCain, Palin was apparently auditioning for a spot in Comedy Central’s next celebrity roast. What’s the difference between Palin and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog? You got it. Again, it’s the lipstick. Otherwise, Palin’s snarkiness, cattiness, and insults (I believe all traits endorsed by Jesus in, what is that book of the Bible—oh, the book of Don … Don Rickles) came across childish and desperate. I kept thinking Palin would answer her criticisms with the Pee Wee Herman classic line, “I know you are, but what am I?”

Reuters offered up a headline that pretty much summed up the Palin Speech. It read, “Palin mocks Obama, readies Republicans for McCain.”

The speech did fire up the Republican base. They enjoyed viciousness shown by Sarah Barracuda. They cheered wildly when Palin suggested McCain, unlike Obama, wouldn’t worry about the rights of suspected terrorists. They loved hearing about McCain’s wonderful idealism and how Palin brings small-town values to the ticket. It was a great speech of partisan cheerleading. And that’s the speech Palin had to deliver.

The crowd on the convention floor loved Palin’s speech that offered no answers to the country’s problems. What the speech didn’t offer was a plan to end the U.S. occupation of Iraq. It didn’t offer solutions to the health-care crisis, the housing crisis, Social Security, the national debt, or how to reduce the misery index for average Americans. You see after eight long years of failed policies, when you are offering more of the same for the next four—or eight—you really don’t want to talk policy. You’d rather insult your opponent.

Great job, Sarah!

Tim W. Jackson is baffled when trying to figure out how this country’s political process got to where it is.